Why So Many “Bad” Behaviours Are Really About Safety
Many behaviours we condemn - avoidance, people-pleasing, jealousy, even betrayal - are not driven by a desire to feel good, but by an urgent need to feel safe. When safety has not been fully internalised, relief becomes the next best substitute. Relief works quickly. It soothes the body in the moment. It also teaches the nervous system the wrong lesson.
What Children Actually Need From Safety
We confuse protection with presence.
We confuse control with care.
And we do this with the very people we most want to see grow into strong, autonomous adults.
Living Inside Algorithms
Today, many young people grow up inside environments that watch, predict, and respond to them in real time. Algorithms decide what they see, what is suggested next, what is amplified, and what quietly disappears. These systems are not neutral backdrops. They are active environments, shaping attention, preference, and possibility.